Roodimentary.

DO.

1. Take a visit to the local reservoir or “the res”

2. Visit the local Wal Mart to meet some of Fairfields finest -__-

3. Take a bike ride to the Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment

4. Run in the summer rain 

5. Purchase an air conditioner or 10-20 fans

6. Take a walk around “The Square”

7. Sing a song or two at the Best Western on their Karaoke Nights

8. Drink a Margarita or two or three at La Hacienda when they’re $2.50 (say whaaaaat?!)

9. Take a sweet bite out of life from the “Chocolate Cafe”

10. Definitely visit the Steven Sondheim Center and see whatever excellent show “Way Off Broadway” is putting on =) 

DON’T.

1. Eat any of the prepared food from Hy-Vee

2. Pass or walk in front of any business establishment that has a confederate flag hanging in the front*

3. Ignore any of the small business owners, support them!

4. Expect good service from Red Rock*

5. Wear long sleeve shirts

6. Be a ballz

7. Send anonymous emails to anyone.

8. Upset white boys from Minnesota* (Mexican, African American, and Indian are ok)

9. Don’t approach any insect that is bigger than your hand… f**k it, don’t approach any prehistoric insects here.

10. Don’t change a dry erase board sign that says “Clearance Rack” to “Clear Pack” 

* Only applies to individuals of African American descent