1. Take a visit to the local reservoir or “the res”
2. Visit the local Wal Mart to meet some of Fairfields finest -__-
3. Take a bike ride to the Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment
4. Run in the summer rain
5. Purchase an air conditioner or 10-20 fans
6. Take a walk around “The Square”
7. Sing a song or two at the Best Western on their Karaoke Nights
8. Drink a Margarita or two or three at La Hacienda when they’re $2.50 (say whaaaaat?!)
9. Take a sweet bite out of life from the “Chocolate Cafe”
10. Definitely visit the Steven Sondheim Center and see whatever excellent show “Way Off Broadway” is putting on =)
1. Eat any of the prepared food from Hy-Vee
2. Pass or walk in front of any business establishment that has a confederate flag hanging in the front*
3. Ignore any of the small business owners, support them!
4. Expect good service from Red Rock*
5. Wear long sleeve shirts
6. Be a ballz
7. Send anonymous emails to anyone.
8. Upset white boys from Minnesota* (Mexican, African American, and Indian are ok)
9. Don’t approach any insect that is bigger than your hand… f**k it, don’t approach any prehistoric insects here.
10. Don’t change a dry erase board sign that says “Clearance Rack” to “Clear Pack”
* Only applies to individuals of African American descent